


Steaming Ianto Pie

by AnArrayOFCrieffs



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Innuendo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnArrayOFCrieffs/pseuds/AnArrayOFCrieffs
Summary: Jack is domestic while Ianto is horny and finding innuendo in everything
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	Steaming Ianto Pie

Steaming Ianto Pie

Ianto let himself in to the house, he was still having some doubts about moving in together, the serenity falls experience hadn’t exactly been one he’d enjoyed, he wondered if he and Jack could actually do domesticity. 

Gwen was right living at the hub wasn’t actually partially good for work she constantly felt like she was intruding on their living space, and they got no privacy. At least this time they were jack and ianto, not Ken and ifan and they weren’t living in a secret community of sleeper agents that meant he’d had to transform in to a stretford wife. 

At least time they both were going to work, he’d stayed late trying to clear some of the useless rift junk. Jack had come home because he was bored and ianto knew if he hadn’t they’d have ended up in jacks bunk. 

He was confused to why he wasn’t greeted by a hyper active horny jack they’d been apart at least an hour and even more confused why he could smell garlic and hear muttering from the kitchen

He leant against the door way, watching his partner clearly confused reading a piece of paper muttering the names of ingredients as he put his hand on them to check he actually had them and then opening every cupboard looking for a sharp knife” 

“What are you doing sir?!” He said trying to keep the amusement out of his voice. 

Jack jumped like a naughty child turning round to face him “er weaving hunting ... what does it look like” 

“Well to be honest I’m not sure what it looks like” Ianto moved towards him wrapping arms around jacks neck making their lips meet in a deep kiss “want me to help?” 

“No, Rhys sent me this recipe I want to cook, I was home first. Bacon, cheese and onion pie now go and stick the tv on, slip in to something more comfortable” jack played with the silk tie, loosening it. Unbuttoning the top two buttons “this will have to wait, I have cooking to do” 

“Didn’t think it was weevil hunting” Ianto said with a chuckle “heading upstairs to change.

Jack heard the tv flick on he had timed it down to a tee, he sprinkled the cocoa powder over the froth and took the coffee in to ianto. Sitting down next to him “I thought you were weevil hunting?” 

“I’m waiting for the potatoes to soften and the vegetables to get wet” jack pouted, 

“What?” Ianto was torn between thinking that Jack really didn’t know the correct term and this was jack being jack and he was missing some clever innuendo. 

“What do you call it when the vegetables are in the pan and they get wet, wetting themselves? Yeah their getting wet” 

“Er do you mean sweating?” Ianto smiled trying not to laugh it was clear jack was serious about this, “come on jack it’s not hard, actually I’m getting quite hard, your good at getting things hot and sweating, and wet! 

Jack got up “when you say things you mean you! I’ve got to cook the bacon and put the pie crust in the pie tin” 

Ianto grabbed his phone from the coffee table followed him in to the kitchen he texted Gwen Asking if she’d discovered personality swapping technology and she’d been secretly experimenting. He knew how annoying he was being to jack, it was normally the other way round. Him the slightly serious domesticated one while jack tried to distract him by finding innuendo in words that ianto doubted had any possiable sexual meaning. Jack had pressed the pre brought pastry into the tin and was starting to fill the pie 

“That’s a lot of cheese, I guess Shouldn’t have expected anything less from captain cheese” he watched jack spread half a bag of pregrated mature cheddar on top of the bottom layer of pie crust, and he was opening a bag of Red Leicester 

“Go away ianto” jack growled ignoring the younger man even though the Ianto was pressing himself very close, his arms encircling his hips. 

“Did you say vegetables? You know I don’t like vegetables” 

“Yes and I’ve told you your not eating enough” jack prised himself out of iantos grip 

“I get an extra tub of coleslaw when we have pizza at the hub” 

“Doesn’t count ianto” he spooned the sautéed mixture of potatoes, carrot, red and white onions and the diced bacon over the first layer of cheese sprinkling the Red Leicester over the top “see there’s some left you can have that for lunch tomorrow make a nice stir fry with the bacon” 

“Oh double penetration dinner” 

“Ianto” jack looked slightly disgusted. 

Ianto looked at his phone a reply from Gwen with a question mark, he typed a reply of - well if you haven’t who has and what have they done with jack Harkness  
He looked up again jack was folding in the excess pastry on top of the pie.  
“I thought I’d make use of it make a good top”  
“Yes you make a good top” Ian to wasn’t giving up,  
“A good top on the pie on the pie ianto” jack chastised him finishing it off Pie with a butter and egg wash, 

“I’ll just put this in the oven” jack was looking at the oven, 

“Yes that’s an oven jack” 

“I’ll put in the oven or half an hour” 

“Oh and what are we doing for half an hour, I’m sure I can find a way to entertain you!” 

**  
Jack was pulling the pie out of the oven he was only wearing the write tee shirt he some times wore under his shirt, and much to Iantos amusement a jock strap, 

“Your cooking in a jock strap?” 

“Well some one didn’t really give me time to put my trousers back on did they? It looks quite nice doesn’t it let me slip some jeans on and then I’ll serve it”  
***  
Jack sliced in to the pie serving it up he got a face full of steam “oh it’s steamy” he collapsed in to a fit of giggles “I’m going to call it steaming ianto pie” 

“Horny ianto pie... the pie that made you keep a horny me waiting”

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by John barrowmans Instagram cooking videos. 
> 
> John actually came up with some of jack and iantos dialogue himself 
> 
> Here’s John’s cooking video equally as full of innuendo  
> https://www.instagram.com/tv/CKj_osnjI-L/?igshid=1wa55i2y18xhn


End file.
